Don't Blink

The crossing of a milestone brings a pause; a time of introspection and self-evaluation. Milestones can cause an individual to recognize they “are walking where they’ve never walked before”.

Birthdays, graduations, weddings, births and funerals are some of the milestones. Employment related experiences such as a new job or significant promotion might be included in this list. New love and relational experiences are sometimes in the census. The circumstances that bring the milestones can be numerous; the contemplative “pause” is the common thread.

When an individual comes to such a “pause”, he or she might speak about it. After all it is usually a significant life event. When spoken, it is almost inevitable the individual encounters a well-meaning “chronologically advanced” person who will claim the right to sober the moment.

These well meaning “wise guys” (in this case "guys" is not gender specific) say such things as “oh, you’re just a ‘spring chicken’” or “I’m old enough to be your parent” or “you haven’t seen anything yet”. They might add encouragement by quickly letting it be know that your experience “pales” in comparison to their own.

This thought has come full circle for me. Over recent years my wife and I have experienced a significant life event...GRADUATION. Our children have graduated high school and are now approaching completion of their college and graduate experiences. However, this is not the graduation to which I refer.

My wife and I are now graduated to the class of “empty nesters”. It is a unique class. It’s a pretty good class actually. It has caused us both to “pause” as we realize that we “walk where we’ve never walked before”.

It has been a healthy adjustment. We’ve manged to not “helicopter” our children. We do enjoy the opportunity to occasionally visit with them. As college students, they seem to enjoy such visits because it usually comes with free food. They don’t seem to mind the occasional company either but we recognize they don’t want too much of a good thing.

Our “empty nest pause” has brought me to a sobering awareness. I acknowledge my recent awareness with this disclaimer: “I now renege on my promise that I would NEVER repeat one particular “wise guy-ism” that I heard way to much in the early years of raising our children”. I’ll attempt to explain the statement.

I refer to the time our children were in diapers. The early years of raising children hold a rigor all their own. There is no physical boredom and the need to be mentally engaged in the process holds no vacation.

As I recall this time the mantra of parents, mentors and other well-meaning “wise guys” begins to echo n my ears. “Don’t blink”. “Don’t blink”, they would say... “Don’t blink, they’ll be grown before you know it”.

Yeah...right....in the midst of all this non-boredom....blink....who has time to blink. If I blink another crisis will have time to “sneak up”.

I recall the cataclysmic incidents like the time I was called to “quickly find an industrial carpet cleaner before the gallon of paint that was just spilled has time to dry and stain”. I weep at the thoughts of the countless times that potty-training children can find bizarre places to create new potty-training facilities, especially sleepy potty-training children.

When children are small there is no doubt the days are long. Day after day there is an ever present need and call for attention. Yes, there are days of respite and the occasional break. Even then the thought of the parent seems to remain on the child.

That brings me back to my renege. I have said and will say again....”Don’t blink, don’t blink, they’ll be grown before you know it”. I say this now even at the risk of “causing an increase of pressure” in a young parent.

I do so because of a statement I heard that must be added to this mantra. The statement I now add says “always remember, when it comes to raising children....the days are long....but the years are so very short”.